how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you win again, gameday.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
