we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
