If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
