Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He shit in the fireplace
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
