i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
