She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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