every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
