I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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