Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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