I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
