the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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