Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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