Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
