whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
