Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
