Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
