I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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