One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
