New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
