Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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