I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
