i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
