Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
