Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
