dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
