Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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