He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
