nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
