i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't think brook has ever known best
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
