I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
