kristin has been a bad kristin
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
