508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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