There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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