Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
