We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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