So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
