So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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