Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
