So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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