whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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