he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
