No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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