I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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