I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
