My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
