Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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