All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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