found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
