Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
