he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
