The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
