So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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