so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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